


the scientist

by herasarchives



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Heartbreak, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27883930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herasarchives/pseuds/herasarchives
Summary: Matsukawa Issei comes back home from work one day and realizes that things aren't the way they used to be. He hangs his coat on the hanger and walks over to the kitchen, where his boyfriend of almost 2 years is waiting for him.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	the scientist

**Author's Note:**

> rated t for language
> 
> this is why you don't put the scientist by coldplay into your comfort ships playlists

**Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry**

"We need to talk," Matsukawa announces.

"Is something wrong?" Hanamaki asks, the dim kitchen light reflecting off his eyes.

**You don't know how lovely you are**

"Sit," Matsukawa pulls out a chair for him and then sits down on the opposite side of the table.

"What's wrong, Issei?"

**I had to find you, tell you I need you**

"Is it just me or are things not what they used to be?"

Hanamaki's silence signals that it wasn't just Matsukawa who noticed.

**Tell you I set you apart**

"Yeah, something is off," Hanamaki finally gives a verbal answer. "Not sure what exactly though."

"Me neither."

**Tell me your secrets**

"I think it's not just one thing," Hanamaki continues. "There's many of them but I think it all comes from a change in our whole dynamic."

**And ask me your questions**

"But we can fix it right?"

**Oh, let's go back to the start**

"We can," Matsukawa answers, leaving and unnerving pause after the last word.

"There's a but isn't it?"

Matsukawa replies with silence.

"Say it."

"But I don't think that now things can go exactly back to the way they were at the start."

**Running in circles, coming in tales**

"Things don't have to be absolutely perfect to work, right?" Hanamaki smiles, taking Matsukawa's hand that was lying on the table in his.

Deep down, Matsukawa knows that both of these actions were forced.

**Heads are a science apart**

Matsukawa wants to hold on to this relationship, fuck, it means everything to him, but at the same time he knows that these conversations would repeat until they'd become arguments, and if this is supposed to end, Matsukawa wants it to end on good terms.

Hanamaki can't accept the fact that it was all ending, even though he knew what path the relationship was going the moment he realized that things were different, he doesn't want to let go.

**Nobody said it was easy**

"If you destroy too many parts though, it won't work."

Hanamaki turns away, but Matsukawa catches a glimpse of the tear and breaks the first promise he made to himself about Hanamaki.

_I am never going to make him cry._

”But we can try and fix it,” he turns back, hanging on the last threads of hope. “We’ve been through a lot of shit together. We can fix this, right Issei?”

**It's such a shame for us to part**

”We can try, and try, and try,” Matsukawa replies. “But what do _you_ want?”

**Nobody said it was easy**

”I want you to be happy,” Hanamaki stops hiding his emotions as tears start to fall down his face one by one. “If this isn’t what makes you happy, then-”

”Hiro, your happiness is as important as mine,” Matsukawa interuppts. “Are _you_ happy?”

**No one ever said it would be this hard**

“I can’t say I’m unhappy,” Hanamaki starts. “But I can’t say I’m happy either. There’s something about us that is gone, and is _never_ coming back.”

That sentence said, was a point of no return, and Matsukawa knew he broke his second promise as well.

_I am never going to hurt him._

**Oh, take me back to the start**

_"Were we seriously so stupid?"_

_"I have no idea how you didn't notice. I was giving you every possible hint since we were first-years, and you realized ten years later, Makki."_

_"You know how blunt I can be."_

_"Hanamaki, 'I'd totally date you', is a hint even a deaf person would understand."_

**I was just guessing at numbers at figures**

_”That should be enough,” Matsukawa looks at the boquet of roses the saleslady is holding infront of him._

_”What exactly is the occassion?” she asks._

_”A one-year anniversary,” Matsukawa replies._

_”Don’t you rather want to go with red roses, young man?” the saleslady compares the two types. ”Or does she fancy white?”_

_Matsukawa gets an idea._

_”Do you have pink ones as well?”_

**Pulling your puzzles apart**

_"You're pretty complicated you know that?"_

_"How am I complicated?" Hanamaki raised an eyebrow on that question. "To you, to say the least! You know me the best of all people."_

_"You do have some questionable traits."_

_"Tell me one."_

_"An awful addiction to strawberries."_

_"That's not-"_

_"An obsession with pastries."_

_"I-"_

_"The literal NEED to be given at least three forehead kisses a day or you'll combust."_

_"Now you're just bullying me."_

**Questions of science, science and progress**

_”Hiro, what is it with you and not having one complete pair of socks?”_

_”Issei, what is it with you and bullying me for every single thing?”_

_A sock with a rubber duck pattern hits Hanamaki in the head._

_”Have you been walking with mismatched socks for your whole life?”_

_”Yes.”_

**Do not speak as loud as my heart**

_"I love you," Matsukawa says for the first time, during their first date._

_"I love you," Matsukawa says for the second time, when they move in together._

_"I love you," Matsukawa says for the third time, when he sees the dinner prepared on the kitchen counter, it's cook, Hanamaki passed out on the couch from exhaustion_

_"I love you," Matsukawa says for like the hundredth time, for no actual reason._

“I love you,” Matsukawa says, breaking his third promise.

_I am never going to lie to him._

**And tell me you love me**

"You know I'm going to love you, forever probably, right?" Hanamaki confesses, his grip on Matsukawa's hand stronger with each word.

**Come back and haunt me**

"I feel like that's the part that's going to hurt the most, Hiro," Matsukawa looks away. "That even though I'm breaking your heart, you still love me. I don't deserve you."

**Oh, and I rush to the start**

_"Aren't you scared that I'll break your heart or something?" Matsukawa asks, running his hand through Hanamaki's hair._

_"Even if you do, I'm not going to get mad," Hanamaki leans into Matsukawa's touch. "Even relationships that don't work out are important. They teach you pain, how to accept it, how to move past it, how to grow."_

_"Interesting," is all Matsukawa has to say._

_"But don't talk about that crap," Hanamaki punches his shoulder. "You'll jinx it."_

**Running in circles, chasing tails**

_Be careful what you wish for, I guess._

**And coming back as we are**

“This is it, isn’t it?” Hanamaki asks, voice faint and weak.

Matsukawa looks over at the uppermost cupboard in the living room, in which he hid a velvet box with a diamond ring no more than two months ago, and nodds.

**Nobody said it was easy**

Matsukawa breaks his fourth promise.

_I am never going to break his heart._

Hanamaki stands up from behind the table, but before he can even turn away, Matsukawa engulfs him in a hug.

**It's such a shame for us to part**

They bathe in each other’s embrace, pouring whatever is left from their relationship in and out of each other. Words that were left unsaid are now being murmured into the minimal space but neither of them is listening, emotions and feelings seeping out and drying up on the hardwood floors. 

**Nobody said it was easy**

“I should probably go,” Hanamaki breaks the silence and pushes away, eyes meeting Matsukawa’s one more time.

**No one ever said it would be this hard**

Matsukawa wants to call out to him, tell him to stay, but he knows that giving Hanamaki false hope is the worst way he can hurt him in.

And so, he lets go, breaking his fifth and final promise.

_I am never going to leave him._

**I'm going back to the start**

It's the way Hanamaki closes the door behind him, that tells Matsukawa he's never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me at  rintaed 


End file.
